The WORK
A close friend, a former college athlete with a long career of coaches, once shared with me that terrorizing coaches (yellers) didn’t work for her. I mean, who does it work for? But the idea stayed with me, suggesting that there are different ways to coach and likewise, different ways to be coached.
Now, I’m an advocate. I’ve witnessed the transformational effect of coaching, but it’s not magic. At its best, it’s a dynamic that requires constant nurturing so it remains safe to reveal dreams and challenges, and accept nudges beyond your comfort zone. If you don’t bring it, then, it doesn’t work. You need to be ready.
Four main tenets of readiness:
Be able to reflect. We get to deep questions – about dreams, what’s holding you back, and everything in between. You will be asked to reach for the answers. Cultivate an openness - mental and emotional - to be with yourself in all your beautiful and ugly details.
Befriend humility. I am sure your ego has been a good friend, thus far; likely a huge force in what has gotten you here. But it’s not why you’re here, or how you’ll move into your future meaningfully. Humility or a beginner’s mindset frees us to shift perspectives, see possibilities and recognize the value in the process.
Practice self-compassion. You’re a high performer with high standards (and pain tolerance) and perhaps, OK practice in caring for yourself. Maybe you take baths or exercise regularly, but when faced with a time crunch, these are the activities you do without. Sound familiar? Self-compassion is about giving yourself a metaphorical hug (not a lashing) when you’re down , and talking to yourself in ways that you might have previously thought was mad. But it’s an evidence-based practice and a necessity in moving forward. Get used to it.
Accountability beyond our meeting. Yes, sessions can be illuminating, elevating, validating (and more!) but learning also comes in between sessions. You think back to what we had talked about; You read about a new process/tool/idea and try it on for size; You breathe into discomfort. Coaching isn’t just about showing up for an appointment, it’s about showing up for yourself. And you are everywhere – at the grocery store, at a big presentation, in conversation with your aging parent, shamed by your teenager.
To think about
For you: Practice humility in your daily life. When confronted with a problem, ask how …Embrace curiosity, then, not conclusions, joy, not judgment.
For the Team: Some people don’t understand coaching bc they aren’t comfortable asking for help. Have your team listen to Michael Lewis’s podcast, Against The Rules, an immersive dive into coaching across all domains to learn about how effective (and counter intuitive) it can be.
